Sometimes life can get in the way of your dreams or even hold you back a little. I know from personal experience how badly that can happen and how long it could take to finally see that light at the end of the tunnel. I have had quite a few hard times in life to know that it takes will-power mostly to hold on and endure through even the hardest of times. I spent my life being a people pleaser and not looking out for number one and it did take a toll on me mentally. I let people control me, my thinking, my life and it got me nowhere. Everyone is only out to get what they can get and sometimes that isn’t enough.
My life was full of heartache and dismay that it took me down some dark tunnels even to the point of contemplating self-harm. I got caught up in a whirlwind of drama, drugs, and sex that it made me think that I was only good enough for one thing and that was to please everyone else in order for them to like me. How could I expect everyone else to like me when I didn’t even like myself. I put up a mask for everyone just so they wouldn’t see how hurt I was feeling or depressed.
No one really knew the real me because I didn’t know the real me. I always played right into everyone else’s hand and fell for all of the mean jokes because at one point I didn’t care what happened. My whole life consisted of waking up every morning just to please everyone else at my expense. I was fading out pretty fast until someone who was close to me opened my eyes up to some critical thinking and that is when I started to realize I was worth more than any treasure.
God himself finally spoke to me and also showed me where my life was headed, but he also showed me another path as well. Once I realized all those feelings I was having, mostly when things were going wrong, it was His son holding my hand as I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. Literally, I was heading down a path that would end in my death.
Would anyone miss me? I don’t think so because that is how low my self-esteem and my environment had taken me. I was pretty much dancing the tango with the devil and would have sold him my soul if God had not intervened. God knew I needed someone to remind me of how much I was worth and so he sent me my current husband who loves me no matter what. He supports me even when I can’t support myself.
I deal with past issues every day and my husband always reminds me how much he loves me and that I can do anything I set my mind too. I can’t believe he tells me that even when I beat him up in my sleep from nightmares. But he loves me and now I can see that light at the end of the tunnel and how green those pastures are.
Everyone goes through some hard times and that’s okay because we are human. Some have it harder than others but that doesn’t make them any less of a person or makes them any better or lower in class. We are all equal and all bleed red when cut. It just takes some of us a little longer and with the correct vision to see that bright light at the end of the tunnel. When you do finally see it, even if it is a mile away, keep walking towards it and jumping all the hurdles along the way. One day you will be resting in those green pastures without a care in the world.
Well, it’s a new day and a new week for me and for creative thinking and writing. I have spent the last two weeks doing research for my second book while my first book is being edited. I have been up since 6 am and I have had my first cup of coffee and now I am ready to start my day. The sun is just coming up and I feel pretty good so far. I had a weekend of not feeling well with lower back pain but I am still here writing and being creative. I am anxious about this week and where my creative mind will go. I have my list of blogs to write and trying to follow my schedule but I also have a doctor’s appointment today for my back since we are trying to find out what is wrong with it. Other than that I will get my day started and will write soon. Please post those comments about my writing and give me some feedback. Have a great day everyone and keep those creative juices thriving.
Well, it is going on eight o’clock this morning and having my first cup of coffee while I wake up. I am on schedule so far and everything is going okay. Hubby is still asleep which makes for better writing, lol. My girls(dogs) are still in bed with daddy and everything is quiet. I am trying to wake up and still a bit tired but I must press on and get things done like any writer should. My lower back is still a little achy but tolerable. I am ready to begin my day of writing. I have two short stories for a book done, I will be writing some short stories for sites, and working on some more research for the second book while the first book is in the third round of editing. Today will be a good day. My hubby has been such a great supporter of my writing and I love him dearly. Who knows maybe I’ll write a book about how we met and got married, lol. Well, time to get to work, I am half done with the first cup of coffee and ready to start the day. Have a blessed and progressive day everyone.
With it raining all night our tent floor is wet and had a few little leaks last night. I went to bed somewhat early last night to get a full night sleep to which I only got up once last night which is good for me. I got up about 6 am this morning and I am beginning my day. I am listening to the coffee brewing and can’t wait for that first cup. Besides this daily journal, I keep a written journal every day. I am somewhat achy this morning in my lower back and hips but I have taken my meds and starting today with a fresh start. Hubby is still asleep so I can concentrate on my writing quietly and have decided to add another chapter to my first book and almost ready to start writing the second book of the series. It has taken the better part of ten days to do research on the second book and I am anxious to start writing. I have a lot of information for this book and it will be full length while the first book is a novella of about thirty thousand words. I am also working on putting a newsletter together so keep an eye out for it. Okay so let me tackle the day before hubby gets up. I wish everyone a great day and may you have a very productive day. God Bless.
Good Morning Everyone! First, I want to apologize for not being here writing to you. I have been a little under the weather and consumed by research for my second book while my first book is under its third round of editing. I still have quite a bit of research to do to before I start writing my second book but I am hopeful that my schedule will return tomorrow and keeping everyone posted on my progress. I woke up today with somewhat a clear mind and
I woke up today with somewhat a clear mind and a little headache but work must be done. I have been having a problem with motivation lately due to not feeling well both physically and mentally. I hope everyone can forgive me and give me another chance to redeem myself. 🙂 I have so many books to write and many more popping in my head daily. While one book is in its editing stage I begin working on the outline or research for the next one.
My short stories are just a sampling of my writing and I hope everyone enjoys them. So, I need to get back to writing and I hope everyone has a great and blessed day. Chat soon.
Woke up to freezing weather in this tent this morning with it feeling like one degree outside and trying to keep warm. I hardly slept at all last night, had sister-in-law spending the night with us in this tent. I am enjoying my second cup of coffee and everyone else is waking up. I plan on working on my second book today. Just trying to catch up wth everything today. Doctor put me on different medication and I am waiting to see if it will work and have back doctor appointment tomorrow so hopefully, I will find out what is wrong with my back and get something to help with it. So other than freezing I am doing pretty good and feel okay, but the day has just started. I hope everyone has a great day and happy writing.
This morning I was finally able to get up on my schedule. It has been really hard to stay on my schedule lately with trying to get my first book published and then SSI playing around with our checks on top of it. They guys have been working on the house and we are on the final lap before we can move in. I have finally gotten all my medical cards and actually have a back doctor visit on Monday to find out what is going on with my spine. Anyway, I’m on schedule today and hopefully will be getting with the graphic designer for my book but everything seems to be good today so far. The new year has started off pretty good, Clifford and I are happily married still after three years we are still on honeymoon. 🙂 I have also been working on my second book as well and it should be ready for publishing soon. I have so many books to write it isn’t funny. I already have notes for each of the next twenty books. A mixture of every genre. I hope everyone has been enjoying the new year and please feel free to read my short stories and give me some feedback on them. Well, have a blessed day everyone, it is time to start writing.
The one thing I have noticed in my life is that forgiveness forgives all. Once I commit to forgiving someone it feels as though this huge rock on my shoulder finally rolls off hitting the ground. I feel less burdened and like I can finally walk straight with my head held high. Whether the other person forgives or accepts your forgiveness is on them but I will not take any resentment, anger, or grudge to those pearly gates with me. Once you have forgiven others, ask God to forgive you and He will. God only gives us what we can bear and He always gives us a way out. I have carried grudges, anger, and resentment most of my life and it has beaten my body down. My body feels 40 years older than it should because of all that extra weight I was carrying around for years. Once I decided to let it all go and move forward, I can now stand up straight with my head high and not feel burdened anymore. Do you ever stop to think that your body aches and pains could be because of a rock that is sitting on your shoulders, or the extra weight you are carrying around? Believe me, if you commit to forgiving others, and yourself, it will lift that load off of you and your body will thank you for it. So when you have time, stand in front of a mirror, or across from another empty chair and talk to that person and tell them you forgive them. Once that is done, forgive yourself for holding all that inside and not letting it go when you should have. Once you have done that, ask God for forgiveness and immediately you will feel the release of the chains that have held that rock or weight on your shoulders. Feel the weight roll off of your back and hear it crashing to the ground. Now stand up straight, look in the mirror and smile at the new person standing there before you. I challenge you to commit to forgiveness and see how much it can do for your life. Become a new creature and experience life with new eyes and sight. Have a blessed day.
Good morning world! Happy New Year! I feel great today and it is a new year. It is time for new things and a fresh start. Sorry, I have not been here in a minute, I have been doing some final touches on my first book to get it ready for publishing. Time to start my new schedule and get things going. It is a brand new year and the possibilities are endless. Last year was a hard year but we made it and the world did not come crashing down on us, yet. It’s time to let bygones be bygones and move forward into a new year without any undue stress or resentment. Let’s all be happy and make this year a year to remember. I am already working on book number two of my nonfiction series and should have the whole series done this year plus a few extra books on the side. I have my goals in place and set, now all I need to do is sprint to the finish line. I hope everyone has a great day and a Happy New Year!! 🙂