Have you ever felt the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up or feel like something is standing right behind you? I feel that all the time, but I know that there is something standing next to me and guiding the steps of my feet. Throughout my life I have been beaten, raped, used and abused, and times where I should have been dead. Something always kept me safe. Safe from harm’s way, safe from other’s, and safe from myself. There was always this little voice whispering in my ear when I was about to endure something wrong or horrific. It always made me choose the best thing unless there was a lesson I needed to learn. I have felt those invisible hands pick me up off the ground and dust me off. I have felt my body being hugged and caressed.
While enduring a beating or rape, that little whisper told me just to endure and not fight back. I would be alright after it was over. I was a survivor and a better person for it. I learned many things and endured until the end of each and every event. But still, those invisible hands kept me safe and sane. To this day those hands have carried me a long way and when the days come where I can’t take it anymore or I feel I can’t go on, those hands pick me up and carry me while I rest.
I know some of you readers might not be religious at all and I respect that. It is hard to believe in something you can’t see, hear, or touch, but I can tell you if you look hard enough and sit quietly you can see something and you will be able to hear them speak to you. Sometimes I just sit and remain quiet like meditation and eventually I hear their words or I feel their presence. I am not trying to press or force someone into believing what I believe, but I do have faith the size of a mustard seed and I have no other explanations to what I have been through, but I’m still here dealing and living with my scars and nightmares. I can say if it had not been for those invisible hands I would have been buried in the dirt a long time ago.
Some of you may think that religion is a bunch of hogwash, but sometimes you have to think that when you feel the sun shining down on your face that you have a fuzzy warm feeling or a loving nurturing feeling in your body. So just remember, even though you can’t see something that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I thank those invisible hands for never dropping me or leaving my side. I would not be the person I am today if I did not endure until the end. It is those moments when you can’t explain something or how something ended the way it did. If you have ever been in a bad situation and survived, ask yourself “why or how?”. Maybe you have invisible hands looking after you too wanting to carry you in times when you are hopeless or tired. Just think about it.