Daily Journal 5/17/2017

Hello to all of my friends and family old and new. I want to apologize for not keeping up with my journal and keeping in touch with each of you. It has been a trying month so far and it has taken a serious toll on me physically and mentally. We moved in with my cousin who has been declared legally blind so she needs some help around the house.

I have been cleaning the house for an entire nine days, pulling everything out of the cupboards, wiping them out and washing every dish in the house. You would think that it would be easy enough until you are continuously interrupted to do something else. I have been having other issues physically that makes it hard to stand for long periods and some dizzy spells. My husband has been so good with support and helping me get things done.

Today we finally got the kitchen and dining room completed with deck brushed floors and cleaned walls. There is still the living room to go but my husband has agreed to do it for me so that I can go back to writing where I am happy the most. I have missed my writing and I know that it disappoints some of my readers but I promise that things are going to get back to normal and my writing will thrive.

It has been hard for me mentally not being able to write and my husband and therapist noticed it clearly and are doing whatever they can to get me back to that point of being content. I am making some changes and will be initiating them tomorrow when I wake up. I have missed chatting with everyone and letting you know what I have been up too and writing updates. So, it is getting late and I want to get some things done to be ready for tomorrow. I wish everyone an awesome night and have a blessed morning.

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Daily Journal 4/11/2017

Good morning to all my friends and family old and new. It is a gorgeous Spring day here with the sun shining and the woodpeckers doing their thing. Well, it is official, our tent is unlivable. The last thunderstorm we had with high winds ripped the whole backside of the tent at the bottom. We are moving up to the garage where we can stay out of the weather. It will only be for about a month because my goal is to have the house inspected during the first week of May and be in it by the middle of May. I am staying positive because we put too much money into this house to let it go now.

Today is a good day too. It is also shopping day for food. There are some pretty good deals going on that I am going to take advantage of. My husband hates to go shopping with me but I feel it is spending quality time with each other. Now, as far as my writing is concerned I have almost all of my outlines done for my coming books and the freebies too. When it comes time to write that book the outline is already done and I just need to pull it and begin writing the book.

Well, I need to get going I have many things to do today and time is wasting away so I hope everyone has a great day and be blessed.

Daily Journal 4/10/2017

Good morning everyone!! Such a beautiful day outside and peaceful. I have had my cup of coffee and I am now ready to get my day started. I hope everyone had a great weekend? As for myself, I have been sitting outside on a blanket brainstorming some books and enjoying the outdoors. I keep telling my husband it is time to start going fishing which I love to do in my free time. I find that very relaxing too but not as much as writing.

I am going to be working on my marketing strategy today and advertising my book everywhere I can. Becoming a published author was a goal for me and I am so glad that I accomplished it. It feels good to know that my story is being told and I hope that it helps so many people.

I have my to-do list ready for today and I will be going through receipts for my nonprofit organization so that I may complete its tax return. A percentage of my royalties will go towards the organization so that I may continue to help the homeless and poverished families. That too was a goal for me since I spent twenty-three years being homeless. I have compassion for those still out there trying to survive and want to help them become self-sufficient before they die out there.

Well, this will be all for now but I wish everyone an awesome Monday and a blessed one. Keep those heads up and those smiles going because anything is possible.

Daily Journal 4/7/2017

I am so excited today. I just published my first book and it is live on Amazon. Here is the link to check it out.

https://www.amazon.com/author/brandipayne

I am having a good day so far and now it is time to get my marketing on the ball.

I am setting up my email list and working on some novellas, or short novels, and will be giving away some freebies soon. I hope everyone is having an awesome day and be blessed.

Daily Journal 4/3/2017

Today I came home but my day started off crappy because when I went to get in the car to go it wouldn’t start. I tried several times and then it would start, run for a few minute’s, then it would die. My sister-in-law’s fiancee had to drive out to pick up my husband to come fix it. When he arrived he instantly found out the problem and corrected it and then we drove home. When we pulled into the driveway, we were met by my other dogs who were ecstatic to see me. I want to say it felt good to be home, but it really wasn’t. I was happy to be reunited with my husband and dogs, but I seemed to get depressed with the thought of being here again.

I appreciate everything my father-in-law has done for us but his wife just gets under my skin too quickly. Everything was going great today until I went to make some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches since that was all we ate today when my step-mother-in-law started in on me again about how we need to help pay their bills and put food in the house. I have already explained to my husband why I refuse to put any food in their house because one, our food money has gone way down below a hundred dollars, and two, she wastes so much food. She could make a full pot of spaghetti that we eat half of at dinner and then wants to throw the rest to her dogs.

She doesn’t believe in leftovers except for her nasty pinto beans that we have to have two nights in a row. We took care of them for almost seven months with food and paid half of their electric bill for a couple of months and that doesn’t mean anything to her. We are living in a tent and running power by a drop chord so I know that we are not running that much electric but she has to complain about everything except for her side of the family who can do no wrong. They are perfect and better than everyone else.

Anyway, we are going to sit down with them tomorrow and talk and we might just have to leave and be out in the streets until we get this house inspected which now has been pushed to the first week of May due to financial reasons. We gave them the last thirty dollars we have and it isn’t good enough for her. So, whatever happens tomorrow I will keep you updated.

On a quick brighter note, I have got my whole plan of writing set up for the rest of the year. I have my goals set in place and will work towards that to keep my spirits up. Well, I wish everyone a good night and sweet dreams. Be blessed.

 

Daily Journal 3/28/2017

Good morning everyone! It is such a pretty day today after a night of down pour. We had a sleep over at my sister-in-laws last night which was fun and relaxing. I just finished the last short story of a series and I feel pretty good today about my writing. I am sitting here on the proch with family having coffee and the dogs running around the yard. They just got their treats of cookies and are playing now while we sit and watch our five year old nephews mud wrestle.

Everyone shows me so much support when it comes to my writing and that is what I think keeps me going in a positive movement. Sometimes I doubt myself but then someone reads what I have written and that gives me the positive affirmation that I need. This will be a short post because while typing it on my laptop at my sister-in-laws house, the power went off and it deleted everything I wrote.

 

Daily Journal 3/18/2017

Hello, everyone. It is such a beautiful day outside. It is sunny with some clouds and that is because the wind is blowing the storm clouds in, but it is still beautiful. It sure does beat the cold and freezing temperatures, the rain, and the snow. I am ready for Spring. I didn’t get to bed until around four this morning and my husband woke me up around noon just so he could go back to bed. 🙂 I am sitting here drinking some ice tea because it was too hot and humid when I woke up to drink any coffee. My motivation is picking up a little and I have some projects to complete here today before sitting down comfortably to write.

I am feeling pretty good right now and my energy is getting better, still a little congested but it will go away eventually. I am excited about getting some short stories posted today on my blog sites and finishing my note organization to begin writing the second book on Monday. There is just so much research and information going into this second book and that is mostly the reason for it taking so long to begin writing. It will be a novel and not a novella.

Today I have a garage to clean out and organize, a tent to straighten up, I need to put some ice and water bottles in the cooler, and a rabbit to feed. 🙂 I guess I should also add cleaning out the car to that list as well. As much as I would just love to sit here and write, I can not resolve to forget about my other responsibilities. When we were living in a house the first thing I did every day after coffee was to clean the house and take care of feeding the dogs before doing anything else. That was my routine because I could not get comfortable until the house was clean and smelling good.

Well, enough about what I have to do and get up and start doing it. I will be back later and I hope everyone has a great and blessed Saturday.

Daily Journal 3/17/2017

Happy St. Patricks Day Everyone! Did you have your green on today? Did you kiss the Blarney Stone or were you too busy chasing that little leprechaun trying to catch his pot of gold? It was an okay day for me, not too much going on. My husband and I had doctor appointments this morning and we only had enough money to get his prescriptions but I am good on medicine until the first of the month. He needs his more than I need mine is the way I look at it. After that, we came home to the tent and went back to sleep for a couple more hours since we had to get up so early.

My lower back has been burning and hurting all day, so much that I almost went to tears. I took my pain medicine and it just didn’t seem to help. I take it like it is prescribed and sometimes only as needed because I am not one who likes being “high” and without control. If I have to drive somewhere in the morning, I will skip the morning dose because I don’t drive under the influence.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately and my anxiety is up there. My anxiety and nerves are so bad that it is causing me to have hives again. I am still battling with some depression or the after effects of it because there is little motivation and I have to sit here and force myself to write because I have placed goals and deadlines on myself for my writing. I do not want to see failure and feel the regret of not finishing or completing my goal.

Being in this tent plays a large part in my depression because I want to be in this house so bad. I want to be back indoors living a normal life even though I try to live a normal one now in this tent. I stay isolated to this tent because I also suffer from a social disorder and I feel safe isolated away from everyone. That is what makes me a good writer because I have no distractions and no social life except for my husband and sister-in-law. My husband thinks it is funny when I have to go shopping because he can never keep up and he says it is like I am running a marathon because I can’t sit still very long around people. I feel that I am prepared enough that I can just go in get what I need and get out. So he stays in the car while I shop so I don’t wear him out.

The dogs have been really good since we have been here and my father-in-law says they are great at killing the rats around here. 🙂 We have a rabbit outside in a pen that the dogs just love to go inside and play with her. We have had her since she was a baby. She likes to play with us and it is funny to see her slap the food bag out of your hands. My animals are what keeps me going although I still have bad days where my mind is full of bad thoughts. I’m sorry if it seems like I am rambling on but I see no sense in sugarcoating anything and I feel that I need to tell it like it is.

If it weren’t for my husband I think I would have fallen apart long ago. He is my rock and shoulder to cry on when needed. He has his issues, but he places mine before his mostly. It is so hard for me to sit here right now because my back and hips are really achy. Well, I think I have bored everyone enough now so I will end here and I wish everyone a great evening. God Bless.

Daily Journal 3/16/2017

Hello to all my friends and family. It is beautiful here today with the sun shining but still a little brisk with cold. We are planning to go to the house to finish the floor today and my father-in-law will be going with my husband tomorrow to finish up the wiring. I had an unexpected visitor this morning of an old friend I haven’t seen in a while. It was good to see him and to know how good he is doing. I feel pretty good today regardless of our situation living in this tent. Today makes nine and a half months we have been living in this tent and the tent is going to be unlivable soon. We have been patching holes the best way we can and it is getting harder to keep warm in here. At night, when I get away from the computer to go to bed, my feet are like ice and I can’t feel them until I get in bed and thaw them out. My husband has sewn blankets around the inside to help insulate the tent but the holes make it colder. I will be so glad to get out of here. My husband wants to argue with me when I want to clean up the tent and the only thing I can say to him is “even though we live in a tent, it doesn’t mean we have to live like a slob”. Then he laughs at me because I am OCD about cleanliness.

I will get back to writing this evening when we get back and worked on some notes last night. I am looking forward to publishing my first book and helping someone out. That is where I get my satisfaction, not from money but from knowing that I can help another human being. My therapist came yesterday and she read a copy of my book and said she couldn’t put it down until she finished it because it is personal and straightforward. I have not sugarcoated anything, but she enjoyed it and looks forward to reading the next one. I want people to know the real me and the cold hard facts about my life and the struggles I went through. It will also give understanding to those who have no clue about certain lifestyles and why people struggle with certain issues. It just isn’t about people being homeless, out in the streets, but people also face these issues in their own homes.

I am considering posting the first chapter here on this blog site to allow people to read it and get an insight what the rest of the book will be about. I would also like some feedback on it as well. Well, let me get going, I hear my husband honking the horn that he is ready to go. I hope everyone has a great day and be blessed.

Daily Journal 3/14/2017

Hello, everyone! As you can see, I’m here writing. It has been raining, sleeting, and snowing here since this morning and I do not drive in that mess. I woke up feeling pretty good today and ready to get back in the craft of writing. My husband is here doing his favorite thing and that is playing video games but it doesn’t bother me while writing because I have learned how to tune it out.

I have had my coffee and cigarette and I am now ready to get into my writing. I lost my computer over the weekend due to technical difficulties but I now have it fixed and ready to finish up my notes for the second book which should have been done over the weekend but things happen. I guess it forced me to take a break from racking my brain on my writing.

I am bundled up here while sitting in front of the computer and getting my thoughts together on where to start first. I have a short story that needs finishing to be published on a blog site and I need to finish up my little notes to begin writing my second book. Where to start?  So everyone, have a blessed day and let me get started.