Daily Journal 7/31/2017

Well, today we made it to the doctor and my husband got his meds filled and I got a new medication that is to help me with my OCD and sleep. I am hopeful that it will help me because being around the people I am frustrates me because they live differently or do things differently than what I am used to. So, we will see how this next month goes and if it will help.

Other than that, my old roommate paid us a visit and didn’t even say two words to me but is supposed to be getting the rest of her stuff out of here on Friday, but it doesn’t matter because we are moving anyway which I am looking forward to. It will be nice to be away from here and getting a fresh start. Being out in the middle of nowhere might do some good for me mentally as well.

I am feeling a little better today but I am taking a few days off mentally from everything. I told my husband he gets to delegate things and take over for me while I rest my mind. I have too many things to get taken care of for me and I need to focus on that. I hope my husband can handle everything and not just sit back and let everything go.

Well, it is that time for me to get on to other things and want to wish everyone “Happy Birthday” that has a birthday today and to everyone else have a blessed day.

Daily Journal 7/30/2017

I want to apologize for not being here for a few days because I have been dealing with some things on the inside. Both of my therapists have moved on to better jobs and so I am waiting for new ones to call to set up appointments to meet. New roommates are young and need some training in basic essentials of living like cleaning up behind themselves and being respectful and responsible and it is hard for me with my OCD and anxiety to cope with it all.

It built up so bad today that I had a break down earlier with anger and crying and my mental mood is barely hanging on. I feel like I need to isolate again from everyone just to cope which sometimes that is not a bad thing. It has put a hindrance on my book writing because it is clouding up my mind where my creativity is being blocked.

I had to clean the house today just to keep from blowing up at anyone and it seems like the more someone says something to me the more I want to just blow up. So, my husband knows that it is necessary to keep everyone away from me today until I feel better. It is one of those “I want to punch a glass window” day which would lead to a hospital visit which would stress me even more.

I have been trying to play games on Facebook just to help me put my mind somewhere else and cope but it does little good. I will be seeing the doctor tomorrow about my meds because I don’t think they are helping much at this point or maybe it is just me. I feel like I have been misdiagnosed or there is a new condition that should be addressed but I will find out tomorrow.

Let me get off of here and get my mind elsewhere and maybe even get some writing done. Maybe I should start writing something new to release my anger like a book about being a killer. I feel homicidal but my husband would not like me telling him that right now. It is bad enough he is walking on eggshells around me and that he has been out of medication himself since yesterday so we will butt heads every now and then.

I wish everyone a “Happy Birthday” who has a birthday today and a blessed day for everyone else in the world. Take care.

 

Daily Journal 6/24/2017

Good morning, everyone. It has been a few wet days here recently but it is still beautiful anyway because the rain washes everything new again. I apologize for not being here for a few days due to getting some bad results on my CT scan. It shows fatty liver disease and that my liver is also enlarged. I will be getting blood and urine test results on Tuesday and to cooperate with my doctor on a course of action. It has been a devastating blow to me but will do as my doctor says to make it better. I am fearful that it is Hepatitis because Hep C has been an epidemic here in Dalton.

I have been ill the last few days with a morning ritual of vomiting and throughout the day I am met with nausea and weakness. It has deterred me from writing for those few days but I need to find my motivation and strength to get back into it. It will completely drive me crazy to wait until Tuesday to know what is going on with my liver and how well my kidneys are working. The doctor has also assured me that my diabetes could be the main culprit for my liver damage.

I am a little stressed but more of what is happening with my body than anything else. I have been in bed most of the morning because of weakness and nausea but I need to find the willpower to get up and get writing on my book. I will try to get some writing done now while I am sitting up and will talk with everyone later. To everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday”, and to everyone else I wish an awesome and blessed Saturday.