Daily Journal 4/3/2018

Today has been such a free feeling for me. I have had nothing but stress and drama for the last few weeks outside of my own household. Today, I have been able to free myself from all that hinders me and my marriage. I am no longer responsible for people who don’t appreciate anything, want to control everything, greed for money and materialistic things, and drama filled lives. It was becoming such a burden on my life and mental health status that lots of bad things were beginning to happen within myself. I have put myself on hold for so long and doing for others, OUTSIDE of where we live, that it now feels like I can shed that old tired skin off and live life the way it was meant for living.

I do not speak for my husband, but I must refrain from associating with his side of the family to keep myself positive and moving forward. They live differently than what I am used to and have different values than my own. It seems that what is pleasing and satisfying to them, makes me feel like I am just stuck in a sphere or frozen state never moving forward and only being content with dullness. It seems that some of them only survive to take what they can get from others, sucking the very essence and life out of everyone around them.

I guess it is true that misery really does love company and they are a perfect example of that. No one can really be happy around them and it is liberating to be free from them and only being able to live and be happy as only I know how. Like I said, I cannot speak for my husband, and I will never keep him from them, but we have a better life ahead of us and God will be leading the way.

Now, on to better notes, I am regaining a piece of me that had hid for a few weeks not knowing when it would be safe to poke it’s head out and enjoy what life has to offer. I am shedding off hinderances and putting back up on the shelves childish things to use what God has given me. It has been a rollercoaster ride for the past few years with lots of family leaving this life and moving on to a better place without pain and sorrow. There are not too many of the elders left and when they are all gone it would be hard because of no one being there to answer my still sought-after questions of life and advice. The world is going to hell in a handbag and I refuse to sit around and let life pass me by.

Today, I begin writing again and exploring fantasy so I can escape from what ails me. Sometimes, it is good to get away and relax on that white sandy beach watching the white-capped waves as they roll in. I have been so distraught over life that I seriously need a break and will find that in my stories. One of my future books will change or be deleted because of family drama. Writing it would bring ill feelings and I don’t want to return to that negative place.

I hope everyone had an awesome Easter with family and friends and I will end this post here and bid everyone a good night. Before I go, I do want to send prayers out to someone I know who is in the hospital right now and for a speedy recovery because he is missed here at home. 🙂

 

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Daily Journal 9/18/2017

Hello, everyone. I just got up from a well-rested nap and I feel pretty good today. It has been very stressful around here the last few days. It came down to us having to move because of a certain situation, but after discussing it several times we finally came to a conclusion that as of right now we are not moving because we feel we are being forced out by others living in this house so they can have their way and we are not taking it. They are not going to win.

My sister-in-law is having a really rough time right now with all of the stress and drama going on in the house that she has actually isolated herself to her bedroom because she doesn’t want to hear all of the excuses and drama anymore. She woke up this morning very depressed and my husband and I had to keep her company for a bit until she began to feel better.

I, myself, went to bed at a fairly decent hour last night and slept almost all night except for a mishap in my sleep, but woke up feeling good until I saw my sister-in-law. Things have been good for the week as far as my writing is concerned. I have finished my Joshua manuscript and it is ready for its first round of editing. I have the first chapter of my next book already written and look forward to writing the second chapter tonight. It has been difficult to write with people screaming and crying in the house but I will be using my headphones so I don’t have to hear it anymore.

Well, things should get very interesting around here over the next couple of days and I will leave you with that information until I write again tomorrow. Everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday” and to everyone else have an awesome evening. Take care.

Daily Journal 9/17/2017

Good morning, everyone. I am functioning on five hours of sleep because my medication still isn’t doing its job yet. Somehow my body clock has been changed to where I’m sleeping during the day and up all night. I am thinking it is because of all the drama and kids crying, screaming, and attitudes to where I am sleeping so that I don’t have to hear it and then up all night when it is completely peaceful and quiet.

Anyway, today is going good so far except now I am being asked to be the voice of children and having to move out of this house and next door to protect my husband from any false accusations. It is trying and frustrating because it will be that we have had to move five times in six months because of other peoples drama.

I am keeping positive about things but my husband is frustrated and it kills me to see him have to go through this again. There are other people living in this house who have five children that are loud and disrespectful and my sister-in-law feels that she bit off more than she can chew by having them live here because they are trying to be cheap about the bills and trying to stick her with most of the bills and she is on a very fixed income with hardly any money left over and they will be getting over a grand every month but only want to pay two hundred towards the rent and one hundred towards the power bill.

I hate seeing her go through this as well because these people are not looking out for her and she has health conditions that require someone to check in on her and they stay in their room most of the time sleeping. They hardly help clean the house and she is left doing everything and getting fed up with it. They really need to find a place of their own now that they can afford it. She is at a loss of what to do.

So, I will leave this for now because I don’t want my anger to build and then blow up at these people because they couldn’t handle it. To everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday” and to everyone else have a pleasant Sunday. Take care.

Daily Journal 7/23/2017

Wow! Three days in a row that I have the house to myself and peace and quiet. How can I be so lucky? I got to sleep in today and it’s just me and the animals who a playing in the living room. I just got finished scheduling my tweets and posts and look forward to another day of getting my notes together for my next book in the “How I Survived” series and currently working on my first fictional book. Which is almost completed and ready for editing.

Things look brighter each and every day I wake up and I hope that it keeps going like this. I feel good today and have gotten all of my chores done even some that were outside. The animals have been fed and are happy and that makes my day to see them happy. I look forward to each new day now and it feels pretty good. I have gotten away from pretty much everything that has to do with drama and stress and it feels pretty good.

I am excited about being only two chapters away from finishing my fictional book and can’t wait to begin the editing process before launching it. There are only three more days left before my husband is off probation and he is excited about that but so am I. It opens up freedom for both of us. We can move wherever we want without having permission and that means we can go on vacation now like we are planning to do.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and didn’t party too hard? I have spent the whole weekend working on notes and book writing which is relaxing for me. I find myself off in another world when writing and it makes me forget about all the stress and drama that goes on around me. So, it is now time to get back into taking my notes and I hope everyone has an awesome evening.

“Happy Birthday!” to everyone with a birthday today. May you have many more.