Daily Journal 9/22/2017

Good morning to all my friends and family, old and new. I haven’t been here for a couple days due to my sugar dropping really low and my husband making me stay down because I have hit dangerously low levels. I love him so much because he really takes care of me.

This morning, my sister-in-law was having a bad emotional morning and crying because things just don’t seem to be going right this month. She was talking about giving up and disappearing from the world until my husband and I sat and talked with her for a bit while having coffee. Things have been going rough I’ll admit but we have been trying to stay positive.

As far as my writing is concerned, I have been working on the first round of editing to my Joshua manuscript plus I have finished the first chapter of a new book. I have been working so hard and the first chapter is approximately five thousand words. I expect this book to be a full-length novel and writing it with all my heart. The downside I think is because I write every detail pretty much because I want the reader to experience it as they read.

I am functioning this morning on only a couple hours of sleep because my medications didn’t kick in last night, so I had to force myself to lay down at five o’clock this morning. I feel pretty good this morning even with only a few hours of sleep. I feel a bit fatigued but other than that, things are okay. My sugar wasn’t that high this morning and my husband gave me my insulin.

I am sticking to my schedule today and will be writing a short story on my blog here in a few minutes so I better get ready so I will say goodbye for now and wish everyone a happy Friday. To everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday!” Take care.

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Daily Journal 9/4/2017

“Happy Labor Day, everyone!!” I did nothing but sleep today because I haven’t felt too good and then my sugar plummeted earlier and it made me shake real bad. I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything today after taking my insulin but we got my sugar back under control so all is good.

I have the first eleven chapters of Joshua printed up and ready for editing I just need to finish the last two chapters so I will have it completed in its entirety. I have been printing up and working on my addictions book notes and organizing the outline for the book. It has been less stressful being here with family and I just need to get my motivation back.

I have been feeling sick for the past few days with body aches and not being able to eat dinner for the last two nights. I walked to the nearest Dollar General to find an ethernet cable but only walked a huge blister into the pad of my foot which has now been doctored up to keep infection away.

My husband was going to soak my feet and then wash them and take care of them for me until I got this blister so now we have to wait until it heals. He takes really good care of me especially with me being a diabetic with mental health issues. I love him so much for everything he does for me and my dogs love him to death as well.

Well, it is back to work for everyone tomorrow and I will say my good nights now. To everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday”, and to everyone else, have a restful night. Take care.

Daily Journal 8/30/2017

Morning, everyone. How are we doing today? I wish I could say my day started off good, but it didn’t. When you have a family meeting and people are not willing to give in to compromise or allow someone to help to make a situation better is just so frustrating. Then, for them to make a statement that you accused them of not caring about their kids is hurtful when it was not meant that way and that was not even insinuated.

It just throws your whole day off and makes you not want to say anything else because it will be interpreted the wrong way. I will just keep quiet from now on and bury myself into my writing and save up money to move into our own place so that I won’t be a problem for anyone anymore.

I know that I might sound like a wuss but because of my mental health status, it makes me very vulnerable to people’s words. I take things so hard that it just happens and then the rest of my day is depressing and everything is hurtful and I find myself crying all day that it makes my husband frustrated because he can’t fix me.

Well, that is enough of my depressing talk, so I will end this post here and hopefully have a better tomorrow. To everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday” and to everyone else, have an awesome hump day. Take care.

Daily Journal 7/15/2017

Hello everyone! How are you today? I am doing pretty good today. I cleaned the whole house, took the animals outside to potty, and laid out meat for dinner. Now I am ready to sit down and spend some time writing and catching up on some things like being here with my friends and family and telling you how my day went or is going so far.

I sat down last night and wrote another chapter in my book which was a good thing. I have had no motivation lately and have really been hurting a lot. Last night was hard to sleep because my body ached and I kept having something like electrical shocks coursing through my body. I know that it is my peripheral neuropathy but I haven’t stayed consistent with taking the pain medication so I feel everything all day.

My husband graduated from his class Thursday night and the last thing is for him to be released from probation on the twenty sixth of this month so it is almost here. We have a vacation planned for October to get away and have some fun so we are anticipating that as well.

Everything is going pretty good today and I am still on my writing schedule and look forward to publishing the next book and getting it out to all of you readers out there. It is now time to get back to my writing and I will talk again soon. Everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday” and everyone else, have a great day! 🙂

Daily Journal 7/11/2017

Hello, everyone! How are we doing today? It is such a beautiful day outside and my mental health status is doing pretty good today. Physically, my body aches a little but not enough to make me stay in bed all day being unproductive. My husband got up today and actually swept and mopped the floors for me. We are waiting for one of his friends to come help him with the transmission to our truck so that we can get it running.

I have gotten my to-do lists created and ready and I feel pretty good about it. Things have calmed down since the roommate left. I feel less stressed and my husband has been better as well. We are meeting with his case worker today to find out about our housing voucher for a place of our own. They will help us pay the rent for a year so that we can get stable financially.

I feel good about our future and making a living as a writer. Realistically, my goal has changed and will be that I should have at least thirteen books published this year. We will see, but for now, my hopes are upwards of that. I have plenty of time to write and find solace in my writing.

Well, I just got some bad news, our roommate is coming back and I instantly felt my stress level rise to becoming overwhelming. I spent a whole week getting this house cleaned from cat spray and dog urine to know she is coming back to make the house nasty again within the first week of her being here.

I have already agreed and stated to myself that I am not going to cater to her and that my goals and deadlines are more important than her. My husband will probably stay in his man cave quite a bit just to stay out of the conflict. She is going to be mad as hell because I will be refusing her, but I don’t care anymore. I need to live for me and my husband and our kids.

Sorry, I am venting some of this stress right now. I love all of my friends and family on here because you are all good listeners. I don’t know when she will be here, but I will definitely let you all know because I will need to vent again, lol.

Time for me to get some writing done but to everyone with a birthday, and you know who you are, “Happy Birthday” and to everyone else, I wish for you an awesomely blessed day. Take care.

Daily Journal 6/20/2017

Hello, everyone. It is such a gorgeous day outside and I feel awesome today. I got up this morning, had coffee with my husband, then cleaned the house and finished the laundry. Now, I am here with my favorite people which are you, my readers. I love sharing my life, whether good or bad, with you all. I want you to get to know me and see that I am a real person with real life issues that happen every single day.

I have had a really hard life full of liars, thieves, cheats, and drugs. I kicked a drug addiction back in two-thousand and eight, have done some minor jail time, and even formed a nonprofit that assists the homeless and needy families. I took everything bad and wrong in my life and made something positive from it.

I suffer from mental health issues that keep me from going a lot of places where there are groups of people. I suffer from depression which causes suicidal or self-harm tendencies, severe anxiety and social anxiety disorder, plus PTSD.

All my life people told me that I should write a book about my life to help others and back then, I would just brush off the thought until last year. I was dealing with a lot of stress and depression and finally sat down and began writing out a plan to write my story in hopes that it would help other people.

When I started writing my first book I found that I had a place I could disappear to. Of course, it made me remember things that I really didn’t want to remember but it did some good to get it out of my head. I isolate a lot of the times and writing gives me an outlet. Granted, my story is nonfiction, but I am working on some fiction which gives me a place to live in my mind.

So, things are getting better for me and my life and I look forward to having people read my books. I just thought maybe you should know the real me and where I came from and where I am going is anyone’s guess. I live a simple life and even use coupons when shopping. I love the outdoors like fishing, camping, and gardening. I shop at Walmart in the middle of the night because of my social anxiety disorder.

You are my only friends and family and that’s enough for me. I appreciate everyone who reads my stories and journal entries and I hope that we get to know each other better. I look forward to it. 🙂

In conclusion, everyone who has a birthday today, “Happy Birthday” and to everyone else, have a great and blessed day.

Daily Journal 6/17/2017

Hello, friends and family. How is everyone today? I woke up pretty good today and looking forward to a day full of writing. My husband left with family members to go work on one of their cars, so that leaves me with peace and quiet to write. Granted, I am doing laundry, but still able to write. I was up until four o’clock this morning working on some printing of forms I got passed to me to help me with time management and work efficiency. They are a great help right now with all of the issues I am facing.

I have finally made the decision to tighten up and keep pushing forward because I am faced with people around me who do not want to see me succeed and will do whatever they can to stop me from completing my tasks and my writing. I know what I am capable of doing and can be successful if given the chance but my roommate knows how to play games and is such a drama queen. She tries to take my attention away from my writing and my husband has agreed to keep her away from me when I am writing.

I have my game plan and strategy to get my books done and I need to put them into action. I appreciate all the support and love I receive from all my readers who are my friends and family. I hope to gain more because I know you can never have too many friends and family, lol.

Now it is time for me to get back to my writing and hope to hear from all of you soon. “Happy Birthday” to everyone with a birthday today and I wish everyone an awesome and blessed day.

Daily Journal 6/13/2017

Good morning to all my friends and family old and new. I love to see new followers every day and I appreciate everyone equally and feel like you are all part of my family. You are those who will listen to my ramblings when no one physically here with me understands. I can go into crisis mode and once I begin talking to you all here and telling you of my issues I start to feel better and it feels like you really are listening.

Anyway, today I am going back in writing mode and to hell with everything else around me. I am tired of being the maid, secretary, and dog groomer. It is time for me to do me now. Everything going on here makes me feel like the servant and slave and it stops here and now. People who are able to need to do things for themselves and let me do what I need to do for me. If something happens to me what will they do without me?

I am writing chapter seven of my second book today with a goal to have chapter seven, eight, and part of nine done today. I found out the other night that with my headphones playing music in my ears I get more writing done, so I have them on now and will be getting things done today. I look forward to finishing the manuscript and begin the editing phase. As part of my editing, I will record the reading of my manuscript so that I can hear it and make any corrections as I follow along.

I am going to get some goals done today and who knows that it could be possible to finish my manuscript today but I know that once I fall into the story I get lost and chapters become long ones. Writing is my escape mechanism from everyday drama which is what I try to avoid as much as possible. So, I want to wish everyone who’s birthday is today a very “Happy Birthday” and to everyone else an awesome and blessed day.

Daily Journal 6/11/2017

Hello, Everyone! How are you today? My night went to crap last night when I watched our one-year-old rabbit take her last few breaths. We have no clue what happened but she started losing weight about a week ago. It was only yesterday that she refused to eat anything. We buried her at approximately two-thirty this morning. My husband and I could not go to sleep until it was after daylight. It’s hard because she was a family member not just a pet. I beat myself up because had we not moved into this house she would still be alive.

Other than that, I just got up to my roommate bitching about the power bill because we have used fifty dollars worth of power in a week. She thinks that with three people living in this house the power should be under a hundred dollars a month, I don’t think so. So, she is ranting and raving about flipping the main breaker and turning off the power to the whole house. I almost told her that if she would stop doing laundry just to leave it around for her animals to spray and urinate on she would not have to do twenty loads of laundry every week.

I am just so over living here with her and will keep myself in our room unless I need to use the restroom or get something to drink. She gets high on meth every so often but says she doesn’t. I watch her and I can tell when she is high but my husband doesn’t see everything and I have tried telling him. Well, we had company the other night while my roommate was high and even our company caught on and when my husband asked our roommate if she was high, she quickly said “yes”.

I am waiting on my last lump sum payment from social security to get us out of here. This is just getting to be too much and I don’t need the extra added stress. She also thinks that I am her maid and should be cleaning out her cat boxes and pee pads all over the house. I have told her that these are not my animals and I should not have to clean up after them. She really got my goat the other day when I cleaned the kitchen completely just for her to have all of her cats on top of the counter to feed them where she spills cat and dog food everywhere and doesn’t wipe it up.

I’m sorry to be ranting but I am so over this crap with her I could scream. I almost ready to not pay any bills this coming month just to get us out of here. I don’t know what else to do. Well, let me get back to working on my book and I will talk again soon. I wish everyone a great and awesome day.

Be Blessed!

Daily Journal 6/4/2017

Good morning friends and family. Today has started out to be a good day so far. It is overcast outside and I’m pretty sure it is going to rain sometime today. Well, the only vehicle we had in this house broke down on Friday and is sitting in the shop being repaired. So, we are without a vehicle and need a new battery for our car sitting at my father-in-law’s house. So we are stuck right now with no transportation.

I am going to be doing some writing today and getting caught up on some other things that I have missed since the beginning of the month. I still need to go back and add more to the first chapter of my second book which I should have completed this week. Something or someone is always trying to deter me from writing and getting my stuff done. It can be a real pain sometimes.

My mind is a little better today but like I said, the day has just gotten started. Our roommate has finally gotten out of bed to feed her animals and already causing me some stress because she knows I am just sitting down to write and has to call me for everything. Well, I am staying strong enough to get what I need to be done first and foremost before doing anything else. I spent the better part of the whole day yesterday cleaning her cat’s room.

Well, I will end here and get into my writing because I have to get the story out of my head before I fall into that world and never return, lol. I love everyone and wish you the best day ever. Be blessed.