Daily Journal 2/22/2017

Good afternoon friends and family of the East Coast, and good morning to my family and friends on the West Coast. I have been missing all of you and my writing. I have been sick about a week now with the flu and my husband just went down yesterday. You know, living in a tent with your husband and two and three-quarter dogs with the flu is not a good scene. 🙂 I have made it over my week hurdle with it and I am finally able to sit here at my computer and talk to my friends and family. They say the flu usually lasts between one and two weeks so I should be on my way to recovery.

It is not like I haven’t tried to sit here, but it drove my husband crazy when we had to exchange seating every few minutes because I wanted to write but once in front of the computer, I would feel dizzy and nausea, so back to the bed I went. You guys and gals mean that much to me even when so sick I wish for death to come. I have been trying to keep you guys up to date on my health progress and I do wish health for you all. I don’t get sick that often but when I do it hits me like a train and I am usually down for weeks.

So, what have I missed besides all of you? 🙂 I am in recovery and ready to get back to writing no matter what my body wants. I have been doing some reading and research on writing and editing while not able to write and I am going to put my book publishing on hold for a minute. I am still going to publish it, but I am giving it another read through and to see if I can get a beta reader to read it for feedback. I still feel like it needs some polishing. I had it checked last night for its readability and the results were that it can be read down to the fourth-grade level which in my eyes is good for the type of issues it discusses. You have to consider that some people in my generation and before did not graduate high school, and some do not read beyond elementary levels. I also want it to be easy reading for those who have brain issues, epilepsy, and memory loss.

The issues I talk about in my book can relate mostly to those who dropped out of school at an early age and to those who have been abused or traumatized. I also want it to give people an understanding of what some people go through and how it affects them. So, I think that having a book that anyone is capable of reading is a good thing. Others may disagree so I am going to seek advice before making any drastic changes to it to bring the readability up higher. I welcome feedback from all of you as well. I take the advice of my friends and family seriously to heart.

Well, I need to get some stuff done while I feel up to it and hope everyone has a great and awesome day. Happy Humpday Everyone!!

Daily Journal 2/20/2017

Hello, Everyone. First I want to apologize for my absence for the last two days. I noted in my last post that I had been sick for a few days, well let’s just say that without anything for cold symptoms come Saturday night I wanted to die. I was so sick, I couldn’t even keep fluids down, hot and cold flashes, vomiting, and my body aches were so extreme that even my hands hurt. Right now, my ribcage and my diaphragm hurt from all the coughing. I just wanted to die Saturday night. I am up a little today but not much. I still have a foggy head and a little wobbly in the legs.

I think it could have been worse had I not started taking vitamin C when I noticed that I was getting sick. I don’t get sick that often but when I do it goes to the extremes in taking me down. I still have a slight headache but I need to get functioning which will help me bounce back. I went to bed Friday night and haven’t been up until this morning. I have been feverish since Saturday morning and still feel a bit feverish but I can’t stay in the bed like that without my body hurting.

On to a brighter note, I am back writing this morning and I know it will probably take a few days to get back on my schedule with recovery time and everything, but I want to let everyone know I’m still here. So, I will get back to my writing and pump out some more of those short stories for your enjoyment. I wish everyone a healthy and blessed day :).

Daily Journal 2/16/2017

This morning has been rough. I woke up to a lot of pain in my lower back which radiated around my hips causing me to hurt bad enough to cry. I went back to lay down and my husband tried to comfort me until I fell asleep to get away from the pain. I just got up a little while ago and have taken prescribed medication for the pain. I am able to sit here with minimal pain and ready to start my day of writing. We have been working on the new house for the past three days and have made good progress. The kitchen floor is almost complete and then to finish the wiring for inspection. I perceive us to be in the new house hopefully by mid-March. We just want it livable to get moved in and will continue working on it one room at a time until it is restored. It is an old house that was built in nineteen thirty-eight and has been empty for quite a few years. The previous tenants left it full of trash so we had to clean it out first before doing any repairs.

I have already discussed with my husband what I would like to do to the inside as far as interior design and set up. He agreed to let me do the designing he will just do the grunt work as he puts it. But, other than this, things are moving forward and we look forward to being in this house soon.

Other news today is that I have been working on my spreadsheet of literary journals and magazines that I will be submitting short stories to for publication. Some pay and some do not but I am looking at just having them published to gain some literary ground. I have rethought my first book and besides adding one more chapter I am now writing two extra chapters to finish it off before publishing.

So there you have it, my journal for today. I hope everyone is having a great day so far and I wish happy creativity and prosperity for everyone. Be healthy and God Bless.

Accusations Cause Disrespect

You know everything you think about can sometimes make you or break you. People, like myself, who have mental health issues hold a lot of things in whether they are good or bad. We can be some of the nicest people you will ever meet, but we can also explode like a nuclear bomb when setting off. The best part is society tries to hold us accountable for our actions but a doctor will tell different based on each individual’s mental health status. A good scenario will be one of my experiences. I have told my step-mother-in-law that I never know how I am going to wake up every morning whether I am going to have a good day or bad day. The moment I walk into the room, she is all over me about something, whether it is “telling me”that I am cooking dinner, or when I am going to wash our clothes. She is just overbearing sometimes and I don’t understand how my father-in-law puts up with her. All day long she does nothing but complain and gossip. Yet, she professes to be an “anointed” Christian. She tries to stick her nose into other people’s business just so she has something to gossip about.

Well, she has not wanted for anything as far as food is concerned for the last seven months.We have packed both her refrigerator and stand-up freezer with food and it isn’t good enough for her she wants more like the glutton she is. She is maybe four feet tall and weighs just as much as me at about two hundred and fifty pounds. Granted I stand about six feet and built like a football player. Everyone on this side of the family calls her a “troll”, but I have tried to be nice. She just makes it impossible. Whenever I bake a cake I am required to share it with her, but she made a cake tonight, and when I politely asked her for a piece, she accused me of stealing, or sneaking, cake out of the house. I went in to grab a few cans of ravioli’s and this is what I’m met with. I am so angry that I cried. It is so petty to accuse someone of taking some food, but it is the respect thing and the fact that she accused me of taking food when for the last seven months she has been eating off of my husband and myself. She even feeds her daughter, who makes more money than God, with the food we put in the house. She doesn’t think she does any wrong and I am so over it and tired of holding my tongue to this woman but I do out of respect for my father-in-law. I respect him but she has lost any respect from me and she will find out when we buy food again.

She made the comment the other that we have to buy groceries and we are not doing it. We live in a tent in their yard so we will act like we are homeless and buy food that doesn’t need to be kept in a house. I have done it for twenty-three years out of my life it will not hurt me to do it again for a few more weeks. This makes eight months we have lived in this tent and she has spent the better of most of it tormenting me and I feel unsafe in my environment because she brings me to my boiling point too often. It frustrates my husband every time I have to tell him about something she did because she only does it when no one is around. We have caught her in a lie once and she got mad and walked into the other room, so I know she will not like what I have to say to her if I explode.

You know it’s one thing to accuse me of stealing something worth money or that is valuable, but don’t accuse me of taking some cake or food when I didn’t, but it is just the principle behind it. We have supported her for eight months with food and she wants to accuse me of stealing some of her dry ass cake. I need out of here and into this house so badly I can almost taste it. I don’t want to say I hate her because it is not in me to hate someone, I just dislike her very much but have to play the good daughter-in-law until tomorrow when we go to the store and buy some more food with our last money to keep down in the tent with us. I’m sorry everyone I just need to vent so that I can let it go and pull my anger back. Thanks for listening.