Daily Journal 4/3/2017

Today I came home but my day started off crappy because when I went to get in the car to go it wouldn’t start. I tried several times and then it would start, run for a few minute’s, then it would die. My sister-in-law’s fiancee had to drive out to pick up my husband to come fix it. When he arrived he instantly found out the problem and corrected it and then we drove home. When we pulled into the driveway, we were met by my other dogs who were ecstatic to see me. I want to say it felt good to be home, but it really wasn’t. I was happy to be reunited with my husband and dogs, but I seemed to get depressed with the thought of being here again.

I appreciate everything my father-in-law has done for us but his wife just gets under my skin too quickly. Everything was going great today until I went to make some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches since that was all we ate today when my step-mother-in-law started in on me again about how we need to help pay their bills and put food in the house. I have already explained to my husband why I refuse to put any food in their house because one, our food money has gone way down below a hundred dollars, and two, she wastes so much food. She could make a full pot of spaghetti that we eat half of at dinner and then wants to throw the rest to her dogs.

She doesn’t believe in leftovers except for her nasty pinto beans that we have to have two nights in a row. We took care of them for almost seven months with food and paid half of their electric bill for a couple of months and that doesn’t mean anything to her. We are living in a tent and running power by a drop chord so I know that we are not running that much electric but she has to complain about everything except for her side of the family who can do no wrong. They are perfect and better than everyone else.

Anyway, we are going to sit down with them tomorrow and talk and we might just have to leave and be out in the streets until we get this house inspected which now has been pushed to the first week of May due to financial reasons. We gave them the last thirty dollars we have and it isn’t good enough for her. So, whatever happens tomorrow I will keep you updated.

On a quick brighter note, I have got my whole plan of writing set up for the rest of the year. I have my goals set in place and will work towards that to keep my spirits up. Well, I wish everyone a good night and sweet dreams. Be blessed.

 

Daily Journal 3/11/2017

Good morning everyone! Really overcast here today and very windy. I’m sitting here next to the heater and wearing my sweat jacket. What happened to the nice Spring-like weather we were having? I am over all of this cold freezing weather and hope that it warms up soon. My little toes get so cold. 🙂 My sugar has been running low the last few days where I actually get lightheaded and nausea. I guess it is because I stopped eating the step-mothers cooking. She fry’s everything and meals are so full of starch. I caught her the other day making gravy with non-dairy coffee creamer and thought to myself “yuck!”.

Since stopping from eating her food, I have lost about sixteen pounds in two weeks. Whenever I tell her I’m not hungry, I get twenty-one questions why. I’m going to go get some groceries today and she thinks that I am going to buy her what she wants. Wrong! I don’t have much money and I want stuff that we can have down here in the tent to eat. She cooks dinner between three o’clock and five, but then come about eight o’clock we get hungry again. So, we have decided to not eat dinner when they want us too and we will keep stuff down here to eat when we’re ready.

We are so close to getting in this house I am ready. We are going to go over tomorrow or Monday to finish cleaning up the mess and call for inspection. If it passes, we could be in the house by the end of the month. Woohoo! I am so looking forward to it. But today I am going to get ready to start writing my second book on Monday and will be posting a couple short stories. I have taken my break and now I am ready to dig back into writing. I am almost over the depression spell, so that’s a good thing.

Today is going to be a good day and I am not going to allow the step-mother to ruin it. I will be focused on my writing and nothing else. My husband will be gone for the day helping some friends put a small building up in exchange for some laminate flooring we will use for our kitchen floor.So, I will end this here and get to work. I wish everyone a great day and be blessed.

Daily Journal 2/9/2017

Good morning to all my friends old and new, and to my family out there. Woke up this morning with an incontinence issue but I am better now, alive and awake, and ready to get writing. I have had a tall cup of coffee, two diet Pepsi’s, and now I’m on to a bottle of water. My diabetes can sometimes make me very thirsty or dehydrated no matter how controlled it is. So, I am here getting set up at my desk to start my writing again today. I have somewhere between twelve and twenty works in progress, I am almost ready to publish the first book and almost done with research for the second book before starting to write it. I have outlines done for the remaining works in progress and excited to begin writing each one.

My husband is still asleep with the dogs, the birds and squirrels are being noisy this morning, and I am still trying to wake up. 🙂 The only thing I can say right now is that I am a “Phenomenal Women”. I somehow manage to multitask several things at one time, work on writing my books, and pay the bills when the money comes in. I have a goal to be debt free this year with the possibility of buying a house the beginning of next year. This is going to be a good year for me no matter what tries to stop us. I also have a goal of having at least ten of the twenty books written and published this year as well. It is funny because not only do I have a list and outline for twenty books, I have begun a partial list of new books to write.

Writing has become a passion for me and it is not so much about the money as it is to help people and to entertain. I have already made provisions that half of all royalties will go to Hope Station USA, Inc to assist the homeless in becoming self-sufficient. That is the second passion in my life, to give back to those who have helped me over the years while I was homeless. Well, enough of that, it is time to get started on today’s writing. I wish everyone a blessed and prosperous day. Just remember that even the smallest of good things is a reason to celebrate. Pay it forward whenever you can and it will always come back to you tenfold. Have a great day everyone! Writers get those creative juices flowing it is a new day.

Accusations Cause Disrespect

You know everything you think about can sometimes make you or break you. People, like myself, who have mental health issues hold a lot of things in whether they are good or bad. We can be some of the nicest people you will ever meet, but we can also explode like a nuclear bomb when setting off. The best part is society tries to hold us accountable for our actions but a doctor will tell different based on each individual’s mental health status. A good scenario will be one of my experiences. I have told my step-mother-in-law that I never know how I am going to wake up every morning whether I am going to have a good day or bad day. The moment I walk into the room, she is all over me about something, whether it is “telling me”that I am cooking dinner, or when I am going to wash our clothes. She is just overbearing sometimes and I don’t understand how my father-in-law puts up with her. All day long she does nothing but complain and gossip. Yet, she professes to be an “anointed” Christian. She tries to stick her nose into other people’s business just so she has something to gossip about.

Well, she has not wanted for anything as far as food is concerned for the last seven months.We have packed both her refrigerator and stand-up freezer with food and it isn’t good enough for her she wants more like the glutton she is. She is maybe four feet tall and weighs just as much as me at about two hundred and fifty pounds. Granted I stand about six feet and built like a football player. Everyone on this side of the family calls her a “troll”, but I have tried to be nice. She just makes it impossible. Whenever I bake a cake I am required to share it with her, but she made a cake tonight, and when I politely asked her for a piece, she accused me of stealing, or sneaking, cake out of the house. I went in to grab a few cans of ravioli’s and this is what I’m met with. I am so angry that I cried. It is so petty to accuse someone of taking some food, but it is the respect thing and the fact that she accused me of taking food when for the last seven months she has been eating off of my husband and myself. She even feeds her daughter, who makes more money than God, with the food we put in the house. She doesn’t think she does any wrong and I am so over it and tired of holding my tongue to this woman but I do out of respect for my father-in-law. I respect him but she has lost any respect from me and she will find out when we buy food again.

She made the comment the other that we have to buy groceries and we are not doing it. We live in a tent in their yard so we will act like we are homeless and buy food that doesn’t need to be kept in a house. I have done it for twenty-three years out of my life it will not hurt me to do it again for a few more weeks. This makes eight months we have lived in this tent and she has spent the better of most of it tormenting me and I feel unsafe in my environment because she brings me to my boiling point too often. It frustrates my husband every time I have to tell him about something she did because she only does it when no one is around. We have caught her in a lie once and she got mad and walked into the other room, so I know she will not like what I have to say to her if I explode.

You know it’s one thing to accuse me of stealing something worth money or that is valuable, but don’t accuse me of taking some cake or food when I didn’t, but it is just the principle behind it. We have supported her for eight months with food and she wants to accuse me of stealing some of her dry ass cake. I need out of here and into this house so badly I can almost taste it. I don’t want to say I hate her because it is not in me to hate someone, I just dislike her very much but have to play the good daughter-in-law until tomorrow when we go to the store and buy some more food with our last money to keep down in the tent with us. I’m sorry everyone I just need to vent so that I can let it go and pull my anger back. Thanks for listening.

Daily Journal 2/6/2017

I have been up and down all night and finally decided to stay up at 6:30 am. I feel pretty good this morning except for the sharp stabbing pain in my left shoulder blade but other than that I am wide awake and ready to start my day. I made some changes to my daily schedule to incorporate more time for book writing as to get more done. So many novels in my mind that it distracts me so I write the ideas down to come back to them later. I will be creating a video later today for my crowdfunding project to assist me with funding for my book expenses since disability doesn’t go a long way. My dream is to get some books published and sold so that I can get off of disability and be able to pay all of our bills. The car is almost fixed now so that we can go over to our house to finish fixing it up so that we can move in and get out of this tent. Our plan is to pay off some debt in order to buy this property, so I need to make some side money for that through my book sales. Well, it is time to get to writing and finishing my first cup of coffee. I wish everyone a blessed day!

Happy 1st of the Month!!

Well, it’s February 1st and in thirteen days it will be Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget to buy that special someone in your life something for Valentine’s Day even if it is a cheeseburger from McDonald’s. I don’t understand why we have one day out of 365 that we are to show our loved one’s affection. I think we need to show our girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s, spouse’s, partner’s, significant others, or even our friend’s how much we care, love, and cherish them every day of the year, not just one. I think that is the problem with society these day’s, they just follow propaganda. One day of the year people feel they are forced to buy something for their loved one. I don’t need something bought for me from my husband to know that he loves or cares about me. He could take out the trash or wash the dishes up and that is enough for me. We could be sitting on one million dollars and I still don’t want him spending a dime on me to show he loves me. I know there are quite a few of you out there who find it hard to live from paycheck to paycheck and don’t have the money to buy someone something. Don’t! DO something for that special someone, clean the house, make a nice dinner, go on a picnic with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You shouldn’t have to buy anything, especially if you can’t afford too.

Just like with Christmas, you shouldn’t have to buy gifts for someone. All you need to do is show that special someone, or even your family member that you love them by doing something nice for them. All it takes is a little love and elbow grease to make someone feel special or to raise their self-esteem. Make someone feel good. When walking down the street, smile at someone, you don’t have to say a word to them, just smile. That one smile is contagious enough that other’s will smile too.

I have mental health issues that involve low self-esteem and depression, but my husband smiles at me every day because he knows that it makes me smile back. It makes me feel special and raises my self-esteem just a fraction but it feels good. I challenge everyone to take the initiative to smile at someone today, or if you feel the need, tell them to have a good day. Being nice or thoughtful to another human being is enough to make anyone, even a homeless person, feel like they matter. So I challenge you to do or say something nice to someone today.

“Like” this posting if you did or said something nice to someone today.

“I appreciate and love you, whoever you are.” 🙂

 

The Wicked Money Hungry Step Mother

Dalton, Georgia was a nice small town community with lots of memories for most folks, but it turned into one of the most exhausting, tormenting times for a couple named Carl and Brenda. Carl was a man of five foot nine, athletic build, shaved head and goatee. He had just gotten out of prison back in two thousand and ten for a crime he was innocent of which made him a sex offender for life. He suffered from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia for which he was receiving disability payments every month. He met his bride soon after getting out of prison at a mutual friends house one day and they became friends. It wasn’t until two thousand and thirteen when they finally decided to start dating.

Brenda lived alone with her two dogs Kayla and Kymarra in a one bedroom house she was renting from a slumlord who refused to fix anything. Carl would go over to her house to visit and their romance began. He would visit almost every day and both of them hated to see him leave. Brenda was a tall woman of six feet and her weight was proportionate to her height and build. When Carl first met her she was a phone actress for an entertainment company that serviced male callers. She was an independent woman taking care of herself and her dogs. She was a workaholic most days and did the best she could to look after her little family. Every night after Carl would leave to go home they would be on messenger together talking for hours.

One night, Brenda asked him through messenger if he would marry her, but was only joking about it, when Carl made the statement that he wanted to ask her that question the next day when he came over. So they chatted for a bit longer before Brenda was supposed to report for work. The next day when Carl came to visit he did in fact ask Brenda to marry him to which she agreed. From that moment on their relationship blossomed into a loving one which made them spontaneously decide to go to the courthouse to get married, and they did.

Once married, they went to his sister’s house who was happy for them and they became a family, which Brenda had not had in many years. They were going to his sisters for dinner or to visit almost every day. One day, Carl decided to find another house to live in because he felt his new bride deserved a better place. He found that house and quickly moved her in. She loved this new house because for one it was bigger than her old one. They tried to make it a home but stress played a part in Brenda becoming unhappy because she want to find a house to buy. Well, Carl’s other sister lived across the street from them and talked it over with his brother-in-law about the house next door to them for which he owned.

The agreement was made that they would commit to a rent to own deal so they could buy a house and make Brenda happy. It wasn’t long before the brother-in-law became a jerk to them and wanted more money and control over who came to visit. That made Carl and Brenda very disappointed. Not only did he want more money and control, but the breaker box in the house burned out and they were without power. The brother in law was notified the very same day but refused to fix the problem and only wanted his money every month. Carl and Brenda soon got bored and tired of his threats and decided to move out.

They ended up pitching a tent in Carl’s fathers’ backyard. Now Carl had a decent relationship with his father but the step mother wanted her say in everything. Carl and Brenda pretty much lost everything to live in a tent until they could find a place of their own. It was only supposed to be temporary but lasted longer than they wanted because Brenda herself became disabled and was waiting on her checks to come through which would help them move into their own house again.

Now Brenda had done everything she could to make things good between her and the step mother, but the step mother started to show her true side which was being money hungry. Carl and Brenda were living in a tent with nothing but a bed, television, and three dogs because Carl got a dog of his own, and Brenda was not working anymore. They had to live off of the little check that Carl drew each month which just barely covered their other bills. They had no extra money and then their car became inoperable which made things worse. Carl had to put off doctor’s appointments due to no transportation.

Bradford, Carl’s father, was a very supportive father and tried to do his best at helping his son and daughter in law out. He did this despite how the step mother felt about it. Brenda volunteered to clean their house for them, bought between three to five hundred dollars worth of food every month, and did whatever her and Carl could do around the house to help out. The step mother, Diana, was a very short woman who was overweight and a couch potato. All she really cared about was controlling the television and eating. Diana and Bradford had a mutual friend who was gay that they used to work with at one of the manufacturing plants here in town. She was always on the phone with him even during meal times.

Diana was a gossip who thought she knew everything and sometimes twisted the truth to suit her satisfaction. She never kept house but did most of the cooking. All she did all day when she was not cooking was complaining. Bradford did everything he could to ignore her because he has lived with her complaining for fourteen years now and was used to it. Well, even though Brenda helped out around the house by cleaning, some of the cooking, and putting food in the house, the step mother was always on to her about one thing or another.

She always complained to Brenda whenever the guys weren’t around and caused more stress on Brenda’s mind and body than she needed. Brenda was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and depression. She didn’t have a good past and it still haunted her everyday. Brenda didn’t know how she would be from one day to the next and the step mother was slowly pushing her buttons. Brenda noticed that her step mother was unappreciative, greedy, money hungry, and soon disrespectful. It had gotten so bad that Brenda stopped cleaning her house and stayed most days in the tent just to not be around the step mother.

Now Brenda had always put plenty of food in the house and one month she only bought what was needed. It wasn’t good enough for the step mother so she complained. She verbally attacked the step daughter every time they were alone. Brenda couldn’t even walk into the house first thing in the morning without the step mother jumping on her about something. One day the step mother raised her voice and treated Brenda like she was a child and Brenda did everything she could to keep from going off on the woman, but went to the guys to tell them what happened. It made Brenda very upset that this woman could be so bad.

Carl and Brenda were doing everything they could to survive and didn’t need the step mother to cause more stress. Brenda wanted out of there more than the step mother did. Without having any money and the step mother knowing this, she constantly harped about some gas money to even go to the store two blocks away. She wanted money for everything even when Carl’s dad said we didn’t have to pay them gas money to take us anywhere. But the step mother persisted to beat down Brenda knowing that it could send her over the edge at any given time. To keep from having anymore confrontation with the step mother Brenda decided to start staying in the tent and not going into the house for anything but to shower.

When Brenda bought groceries this month and only bought what the house needed, she took half of the food down to the tent so her and Carl would have something to snack on at night. The step mother wasn’t well with things because Brenda didn’t even buy any meat this month and was complained at about that. Diana was just so annoying to Brenda and there wasn’t anything Brenda could do about it without causing more strife in the house. Brenda was at the point of pulling all the food from the house for which they were not even obligated to do but Carl and Bradford asked her to let it go.

Diana caught Brenda one morning when she went into the house to use the bathroom and complained some more to her about the food she bought and it stressed Brenda out to the point of which Brenda sat in the tent and cried. She was tired of being treated so badly. Diana stated to Brenda that because they weren’t paying any rent, nothing on the electric bill, and using their water, that it wasn’t fair or right when Brenda felt it was justified because she always put so much food in the house and even cleaned her house for her. Granted, Carl and Brenda did manage to give Bradford forty dollars one month towards the electric bill but Bradford hardly accepts any money from them because he understands how hard they are having it right now.

Carl and Brenda have discussed sitting down with Bradford and Diana and discussing what is going on, but Brenda is very cautious about that right now because she knows that what she says will make Diana angry and thus give way to a chance of them being evicted from the backyard. Bradford stated that he would not throw his son out because of a conflict with his wife, Diana.

Carl and Brenda have found a house that needs some renovations before moving in and are trying to come up with money to get it fixed. They can hardly wait to be rid of the step mother, Diana, and live on their own again. Bradford fears that once Carl and Brenda move that they will stay away and not visit. Carl and Brenda have already assured him that they will still visit him but keep a distance from Diana. Would you allow your step mother to treat you so badly and ungrateful? Any suggestions for Carl and Brenda to overcome the difficulties of living with the step mother?