Daily Journal 4/3/2018

Today has been such a free feeling for me. I have had nothing but stress and drama for the last few weeks outside of my own household. Today, I have been able to free myself from all that hinders me and my marriage. I am no longer responsible for people who don’t appreciate anything, want to control everything, greed for money and materialistic things, and drama filled lives. It was becoming such a burden on my life and mental health status that lots of bad things were beginning to happen within myself. I have put myself on hold for so long and doing for others, OUTSIDE of where we live, that it now feels like I can shed that old tired skin off and live life the way it was meant for living.

I do not speak for my husband, but I must refrain from associating with his side of the family to keep myself positive and moving forward. They live differently than what I am used to and have different values than my own. It seems that what is pleasing and satisfying to them, makes me feel like I am just stuck in a sphere or frozen state never moving forward and only being content with dullness. It seems that some of them only survive to take what they can get from others, sucking the very essence and life out of everyone around them.

I guess it is true that misery really does love company and they are a perfect example of that. No one can really be happy around them and it is liberating to be free from them and only being able to live and be happy as only I know how. Like I said, I cannot speak for my husband, and I will never keep him from them, but we have a better life ahead of us and God will be leading the way.

Now, on to better notes, I am regaining a piece of me that had hid for a few weeks not knowing when it would be safe to poke it’s head out and enjoy what life has to offer. I am shedding off hinderances and putting back up on the shelves childish things to use what God has given me. It has been a rollercoaster ride for the past few years with lots of family leaving this life and moving on to a better place without pain and sorrow. There are not too many of the elders left and when they are all gone it would be hard because of no one being there to answer my still sought-after questions of life and advice. The world is going to hell in a handbag and I refuse to sit around and let life pass me by.

Today, I begin writing again and exploring fantasy so I can escape from what ails me. Sometimes, it is good to get away and relax on that white sandy beach watching the white-capped waves as they roll in. I have been so distraught over life that I seriously need a break and will find that in my stories. One of my future books will change or be deleted because of family drama. Writing it would bring ill feelings and I don’t want to return to that negative place.

I hope everyone had an awesome Easter with family and friends and I will end this post here and bid everyone a good night. Before I go, I do want to send prayers out to someone I know who is in the hospital right now and for a speedy recovery because he is missed here at home. 🙂

 

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Daily Journal 1/31/2018

Hello everyone. How are you doing today? Happy Hump Day! The weekend is coming closer for all those who don’t work weekends. This morning I had the procedure on my neck and it went very well. I thought I would panic with them putting injections in my cervical spine but I felt hardly anything. It could have been with all the pain medication I had in me, I don’t know. I woke up from it a little while ago and the only discomfort I have right now is a slight tension headache.

I just had a rough morning because I couldn’t drink any coffee this morning or even water and that sucked. I’m doing okay today which is surprising. Yesterday I was subpoenaed to court for my nephew’s divorce hearing which the only thing that happened was the judge wants them to go to mediation first to see if they can agree on custody of the children. She has not been a parent to these kids since they were in diapers and only comes to see them when it is convenient and now she wants full custody.

Anyway, things can ease down now a little and I can finish writing my next two books which is the goal right now and doing some marketing for the first three books that have been published. I know it will take some time for sales to jump up there but I have patience and I know it will come. I have a list of places that I can market them and I will probably get that started tomorrow and getting them up everywhere. I love my passion for writing and telling my stories.

It is now time for me to move to the next thing on my schedule for today and I will definitely be here tomorrow to keep everyone updated on my progress and to let everyone know how I am doing mentally and physically. Isn’t it nice to have someone put their everyday problems and achievements out there publicly to let you know that there are other people out there that can relate and for you to get to personally know them? I consider you all my friends and family even the new people who get to know me and I appreciate everyone of you.

So let me say good evening to everyone and to everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday” and for everyone else I wish the very best evening for you. Take care.

Daily Journal 11/18/2017

Good Evening everyone. How is your weekend going so far? I am good today, my husband says that my new medication is working because for the past few nights I have not been fighting in my sleep or beating on him. I have been sleeping soundly and not able to hear anything. My husband gets to play his game in peace while I sleep or write.

That brings me to this morning. I got so caught up in my writing last night that my husband was waking me up from my sleep because I fell asleep at my desk. He made me go get to bed. He laid back down with me until I fell back to sleep and then he got up and made the coffee. I woke up at fifteen after seven and felt wide awake until a few hours later when I was nodding off again at my desk trying to get some more work done.

I started to write a short story last night and will be finishing it tonight. It will be placed on my website under crime drama thriller page. I love writing because I can express myself and it is a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety. My sister-in-law loves reading my stories along with some other people. I have so many stories in my head that need to come on paper and I plan to get every one of them into books for everyone to read.

How was everyone’s Friday night? Did anyone party a little too much, lol? It did not even feel like it was Friday night. I stayed home with my husband watching movies before getting on my computer to write.  He is waiting for me to get another book done so he can read it. Well, it time to get to work and I wish everyone with a birthday today, “Happy Birthday” and to everyone else have an incredible Saturday. Take care.